Grieving the Loss of a Complicated Relationship
IN THIS LESSON
Seeking Support from Others
Grieving a complicated relationship can feel isolating. You might struggle to explain your feelings to others, especially if your loss is not easily understood. Seeking support from others—whether through peer connections, coaching, or professional therapy—can help you process your emotions and find a path forward.
If at any time these ideas and activities seem to be hurting more than they are helping, stop immediately and seek the support of a licensed counselor. These activities and lessons are designed to build healthy coping skills, but they do not replace therapeutic processing of a painful loss.
The Emotional Journey of Losing a Complicated Relationship
Different Types of Support
There are different ways to receive support while grieving, and it’s important to understand how they differ and how they can complement each other.
Peer Support & Coaching (Holding Space 101 Community & Groups)
What It Is: A safe space to connect with others who have experienced similar losses. This group is not therapy per se, but it provides emotional support, shared experiences, and guided discussions.
What It Offers:
A peer support group where you can share your feelings and listen to others who understand grief firsthand.
A coaching component that offers structured guidance, helping you develop coping strategies and self-care practices.
A sense of belonging and validation—knowing you’re not alone.
What It Doesn’t Replace: This is not therapy. Peer support and coaching provide emotional connection and guidance, but they do not offer clinical treatment for deep trauma, mental health conditions, or unresolved emotional wounds.
Therapy or Counseling from a Licensed Clinician
What It Is: A professional service provided by a licensed mental health professional, such as a therapist, psychologist, or counselor.
What It Offers:
A private, one-on-one setting where you can explore difficult emotions in depth.
Evidence-based approaches (such as cognitive-behavioral therapy or grief counseling) to help with unresolved grief, trauma, or mental health challenges.
A professional perspective that can help you process past pain in a structured and clinically supported way.
Why It’s Beneficial: If your grief feels overwhelming, or if it brings up deeper emotional wounds, therapy can help you work through them safely and effectively.
Why Therapy or Counseling is a Valuable Addition to Peer Support & Coaching
While Holding Space 101 provides meaningful support, it is best complemented by therapy or counseling in the following situations:
If your grief is prolonged or deeply distressing, making it hard to function.
If you’re experiencing depression, anxiety, or trauma responses related to the loss.
If your complicated relationship involved abuse, neglect, or unresolved trauma that requires professional processing.
If you need individualized coping strategies beyond what peer support can offer.
Finding the Right Balance
For many, a combination of peer support, coaching, and therapy offers the most complete approach to healing. The Holding Space 101 community provides connection, shared understanding, and compassionate guidance, while therapy allows for deeper emotional work.
Seeking support is not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign that you are honoring your grief and giving yourself the care you deserve. Whether through this community, a trusted therapist, or both, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone.
Venn Diagram
To help you explore the different types of support available and determine what might be most helpful for you, try the "Support System Venn Diagram" activity. Draw three overlapping circles. Label one circle "Peer Support & Coaching," another "Therapy/Counseling," and the third "Other Support" (this could include things like support groups, spiritual guidance, or connecting with friends and family). Then, within each section of the Venn diagram (including the overlapping areas), write down specific ways that type of support could address your needs. For example, in the "Peer Support & Coaching" circle, you might write "Connect with others who understand," while in the "Therapy/Counseling" circle, you might write "Process past trauma." In the overlapping section between the two, you might write "Share my story in a safe space." This visual representation can help you understand the unique benefits of each type of support and how they can complement each other in your healing journey.
If, while considering your support options, you feel overwhelmed or unsure about what's right for you, it's important to acknowledge and honor those feelings. This activity is meant to be exploratory, not a source of pressure. Perhaps the idea of seeking professional help feels intimidating, or you're unsure how to find the right therapist. That's perfectly okay. You could start by talking to a trusted friend or family member about your concerns, or researching different types of therapy online. Remember that seeking support is a sign of strength, and there are many different avenues to explore. If you're feeling particularly lost or confused, consider contacting a mental health professional for a consultation. They can help you assess your needs and recommend the most appropriate resources for your situation. Taking small steps at your own pace is key, and it's okay to change your mind or adjust your support system as you move through your grief journey.
Community members: Enter the Holding Space Community and talk about this experience in the Community Chat. Share a picture of your activity or give advice for others thinking of trying the activity, if you would like to.